News

I did some casting scouting.

 

homm5.5 mod - too unstable, AI turns still take too long, doesn't seem to have improved their intelligence very much (ignoring empty towns and otherwise being unable to handle water maps/end games properly), some nice ESL and bugs tho. I might give it another chance but I'm not fond of having to constantly redo turns/fights because it crashes so much. I don't know if that's due to the mod or the game but it's unacceptable.

FF15 - Hilariously buggy but probably quite a slog, it's a fetch quest sim, might be worth doing in the future but not atm. The first few minutes brought me to tears immediately. Performs like garbage on top of the line hardware.

frontgirls 2 - Looked into it for a pvp replacement for e7 but the game doesn't seem to have much to it.

 

I should have enough Naraka footage for another compilation.

 

Every so often I decide on a part of the site to take a look at. I haven't done anything with articles yet other than add a few of the mid term ones that weren't on the site and add 2025 anime reviews. Revising those will probably be one of the last things I do, along with adding the LP pages for the FTP/dark age casts that were completed (as it is I don't remember how those were made xd). I'm still not too fond of using page-wide spoiler buttons for some things, but splitting things up into separate pages or whatever will be a future thing anyways. Some sections, like the hots and e7 casts, grew perilously massive beyond their existing presentations but depending on the way they are organized internally I can't realistically improve them that much. The most major section to be rebuilt will be the ApexX section whom will entirely rebuilt and publicated once suitable public video material is built to accompany it.

After roughly twenty years of searching I believe I have finally found internet presence of the man who first introduced me to Starcraft when it had just come out. The man who thusly set me on the path to becoming who I am today. To whom I owe all of my accomplishments and creations and finding a purpose to pursue amidst the hellscape that life had already become. I've been hunting all this time to tell him of the insane journey I had undertaken and the things I had achieved thanks to him. One of the only good people in my life that ever contributed something meaningful to it.

 

I found him in an orbituary.

 

I'm 90% confident it's him. They used an old photo and it looks just like I remember. The names of family members are correct and the age is also about what it should be. Dude died young, and without ever knowing what he and his father did for me.

 

The decades of hell just keep on taking.

I went ahead and posted the 2021 video processing article that's been untouched since then. It's missing all image data but I don't have that data anymore as far as I know. Maybe I'll locate it and finish the article properly some day. The source material for the written content was mostly third party and the Swede has been gone for years at this point. The other incomplete articles I have were either deleted during my efforts to try to work on them (due to the CMS bugs at the time) or aren't finished enough to speed run down at the moment. I'll worry about polishing up the old stuff at a later time. I'll probably make a modern video encoding guide sometime but for the time being I can't be asssed to make the reference material for it. I have one of the two AI articles I made last year but the second and largest one is permanently KIA so I probably won't bother reprocessing the first.

 

As of yesterday I finished the 112 first-party replay cast string signalling the end of my hots catchup project in their entirety, editing, verification and all. The series is now like 500 or something videos and I still have some steak and rainbow replays to do sometime.

 

I also redid Nioh up to the ballbuster. I remember disregarding the old recordings 6-7 years ago due to audio bugs. I think the casting back then would have been a lot stronger than my modern work but nonetheless the video quality is incomparably superior at 1440p60 with the newer pipelines and better performance. This was one HKS wanted to co-op so who knows when I'll feel up to even starting it. But, it's another old objective knocked off my list.

 

In the next while I'll add a few additional playlists to the youtube section for some of my more niche content I remembered I had up there.

 

Contemplating what would make worthwhile discussion subjects for GP-facing videos. An AXX general intro is likely to be one of the first.

I have updated the entire site to use the CE variant of the CMS and as a result the internals are substantially different and improved in many cases, plus some bugs are squished and sat on.

 

I'll be looking through content to sort into YT playlists and adding to the relevant page in the near future.

 

I have access to some of my newer articles that weren't on GP due to its bugged status in the last few years. I'll review what I have access to and add them to the articles section as I process them. This is ultimately what lead to further research on updating the website as a body.

I have restored most of the pages on the side bar. They should all have notations that they are just references. I've also added generations 6 and 7 to the LP list but the runs don't and won't have pages for quite a while since I need time to both remember how to make them and then make them.

 

I'll likely be reviving Coffee Hour.

I have restored most of the old pages. The content isn't available, but the information is. I plan to add the projects created during the 2020-2024 period to the LP list and aught else for reference, though there isn't a lot.

 

I've also updated a few pages, adding 2025 Anime reviews that I could recall for example. As time permits I'll modernize some articles and portions of the website that need tidying.

An ancient evil awakens. Rather, phallic imagery has lead to the rediscovery of mindfulness.

 

Nearly five years after Gameproc's CMS system broke and I waited for Lavarinth to do anything to fix it, I spent 15 minutes researching startpage and github and seem to have (at least superficially?) fixed everything myself thanks to community pull requests.

 

That means that, finally, I can edit and add pages to the website again after years of dead time. This doesn't solve the most prominent issue with the site, of course - hosting the content - but it does mean I can, for example, add articles and other material once again.

 

My last post (edit of a post, done via manually editing xml files) was some years ago. That was during the first half of 2023, when life turn an even darker turn than it already had in the three years prior. 2024 and the beginning half of 2025 have been similarly disastrous, with numerous deaths in my very limited circle of real-life acquaintences, financial hardship and escalating health problems.

 

However, there has also been progress. As perhaps the sole surviving member of the original CC community from the early 2000's other than perhaps RCX to have ambitions for content creation I have continued both video and game development in spite of the dark and quiet world you see before you. Gameproc may have slumbered, but my fires of defiance have burned yet. ApexX, though still but a conceptual project seeing only sparse experimental work, has nonetheless established curious subject matter, and I've created over 300 casts of various competitive game matches, multiple LP's and hundreds of hours of development material. The D&D campaign ABE is well under way and my spurrious work continues steadily if not extremely painfully.

 

All this time I have never, ever forgotten about Gameproc or my desire to return to the way things once were. Alas, despite research from many individuals it seems the only solution to hosting that exists in the entire planet is to locally host my content and pay for a business connection. This is simply not possible, so for the time being my video content will remain dark. That isn't to say I am not considering alternate content I may be able to bring to GP, especially now that I can actually work on the site again.

 

Things are the worst they have ever been. I have so many insane stories to tell you, and so many experiences to recount. It's only a matter of figuring out how to do so.

Currently public ApexX content.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alvH5NbSCns&list=PLEWU20hah9z_8cYzjJTzH88zUd339cmQJ

 

That's right, I'm manually editing a xml file to post news because all of Gameproc's admin system is completely hosed. I haven't been able to get in contact with Lavarinth for a long time and I don't know nearly enough to fix anything myself.

 

Let's have a girl talk.

 

At the end of 2019, things got super mega ultra giga bad. It was the beginning of the three-year (ofc it's three) peak of the ten years of hell that have obliterated my miserable existence up to this point. Most of you are following my internal content and those of you that aren't probably moved on since the hosting incident back then. For those of you still clinging to the hope that one day things might turn out for the better, I'm here to cave in your hopes and dreams.

 

First of all, let's discuss hosting. The reality is, DDL hasn't been a mainstream shtick since they pulled wool over everyone's eyes and window lickers sold their rights to cLoUd StOrAgE and other goofy memes. Coupled with the biblical disaster that has been "social media" and the landscape for file storage is not particularly encouraging. Websites like Archive.org are politically charged and you waive a lot of rights associating with them. Like any respectable content producer I'd rather have direct control over every single thing I create, how it's accessed, where it's accessed, and in what manner it's accessed. For example, I'm strictly opposed to downsampling, converting, comments and upvotes, viewcounts, etc. What I had on GP prior to 2019 is what I want to go back to. No compromises.

 

As the cost of file storage continues to plummit laughably low the whole situation only becomes more and more comical. But, I digress. If you want my content there's places you can get it easily. You just need to know me well. Shrimple as. An online solution is not likely to happen unless someone I know gets their own shard.

 

I still cling to the futile belief myself that, one day, we'll be able to bring this site to life again. But, chances are if I do that in the short term (e.g. if it ever gets fixed), it will become a small landing zone for ApexX and that's it. If you checked that youtube channel I linked above you'll see all it contains is some phone game vomit and the AXX videos. That's all it will ever have.

 

As far as internal releases go, suffice to say my productivity in the last three years has been terminal. I got to doing a lot of things I needed to do - finishing the BW run, showing how bad the Doom reboots are, and even snagging Stray before things hit absolute barrel bottom in the third quarter of last year. But a lot of projects are perpetually stagnant and probably won't ever improve.

 

After narrowly avoiding a double death incident, walking ancient seniors through the overblown meme that is Covid, last year topped us off with yet another eviction. That's right, I've been displaced twice in less than ten years and three times in 17 years and that's not even approaching how bad things were before then where we were forced to move every few months for almost all of my early life. Suffice to say, due to the insane leap in the cost of living in this country on top of the general inflation in the West, my full-time nurse responsibility coupled with a mounting list of injuries, the thought of having to relocate yet again was not a particularly joyous one. I'll spare you the melodrama and sum it up as what it is: life-ending. We had to throw out virtually every single thing we owned, including most of our clothes, food and furniture, just to squeeze into the tiniest apartment possible - the ONLY apartment even heard back from in over three and a half months. The cost is not any cheaper than the house; we aren't saving any money, and along the way I added another extremely substantial injury to my right foot that nearly immobilizes me completely.

 

To summarize as concisely as possible, 2023 has kicked off to be a complete, utter fucking disaster even by the margins set forth by the last ten years. It tops off non-stop death, misery, loss and heartache with total devastation to finances, physical and mental grounding, and environmental stability. I'm not even going to try to tackle the concept of casting or working in this environment - I spent an hour-long Coffee Hour going over just that recently. Suffice to say, I get maybe 1-2 hours of sleep a day due to anxiety. Claustrophobia, noise, and people are all major contributors to extreme panic attacks I've had to fight all of my life, and these days are spent mostly laying in bed freaking the absolute fuck out because I can't stop my mind and heart from racing uncontrollably.

 

Like I detailed in the aforementioned Coffee Hour, I never wanted to start every statement with some stupid rant about how everything is shit and life is shit and I sure wish things would not be shit for a change. But it's not like I've been handed anything else to work with. From the attacks on my person and sabatoge of my projects in 2017 to the limitless minor grievances like every single interaction with various landlords or financial institutions, there seriously hasn't been a single month in the last ten years that hasn't had something monumentally stupid going on.

 

I still want to make content. I want to work in Unreal and I hope one day I can do general casting again. But, man, literally every single fucking thing is out to stop me from doing that.

 

I went to the effort to try to get a post out just to tell you I'm still here. I may not be for very long at the rate I'm going, but for now, I'm still fighting for that silly, idyllic future where I can make dumb videos and laugh at bad companies again.